Flipping Pathfinder of Death

[afufle]

I swear it was the same guy both days. Monday, someone almost mowed me down in the crosswalk, I think because he was eyeing 3 shapely teenage girls in tight clothes. He had this daydreaming grin on his face and barely seemed to notice me when I screamed profanities at him. I wasn't absolutely sure I had the walk light, only because I only knew there were lots of people ahead of me, several behind, and by the time I started cussing it was on walk. I'm sure it was anyway, I just hadn't consciously looked.

Whatever, he just stared at me. I swear it was the same guy in the same enormous black Ford(?) Pathfinder who kept inching forward across the crosswalk as I walked toward the curb, and he made me walk around the front of him as he drifted forward--rather quickly. I kept staring right at him, but he barely seemed to notice or care. I was trying to get the license # this time, but wasn't fast enough. Sorry I didn't. I feel as though I didn't try very hard for fear of a confrontation. Like the rest of my life.

Bleh. Well, time wasted on facts.

Comments

[orlys-wife.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I hope so! How do you get around without driving? I live in the middle of nowhere, so unless I want to take two hours to walk somewhere, I would have to drive. And how do you deal with your anger now, when you're not driving?

[afufle.livejournal.com]

Cincinnati is pretty big, and I really like to--and desperately need to--walk. I ride the bus, too. I don't have any kids or anything, so shopping for one isn't such a big deal. If I really need it, there is usually someone who can give me ride. I'll be moving soon to a new house, and I'm pretty sure I can get someone to take what furniture I've got.

I did some praying, finally. I was having trouble with finances and I heard a suggestion that anger and unforgiveness can be at the root of many problems, including financial problems.

It sounds pretty crass to get my head in order starting with money, but I think I thought before that the anger would go away by itself. I didn't know how much it was hurting me to hold it in. Getting rid of it wasn't always pleasant, but it's helped a lot. So has reading about forgiveness, and why it's better to forgive than hold it in, that forgiving means forgetting thoughts of vengeance and self-righteousness, but it doesn't mean forgetting your own or any other offenses. Not necessarily. If you or someone has made a moral mistake, it helps to keep you on your toes if you know there is still a possibility it can happen again. It's also nice to know what you have been forgiven for--it's a relief to let go of the negative thoughts around a memory.

Prayer, I'd say first, reading the Bible, and good books, maybe counseling. I went to an Alanon group, which helps family and friends of alcoholics to recover from the effects of alcoholism. It's been very helpful. The people in the group have all been where I was.