Flipping Pathfinder of Death

[afufle]

I swear it was the same guy both days. Monday, someone almost mowed me down in the crosswalk, I think because he was eyeing 3 shapely teenage girls in tight clothes. He had this daydreaming grin on his face and barely seemed to notice me when I screamed profanities at him. I wasn't absolutely sure I had the walk light, only because I only knew there were lots of people ahead of me, several behind, and by the time I started cussing it was on walk. I'm sure it was anyway, I just hadn't consciously looked.

Whatever, he just stared at me. I swear it was the same guy in the same enormous black Ford(?) Pathfinder who kept inching forward across the crosswalk as I walked toward the curb, and he made me walk around the front of him as he drifted forward--rather quickly. I kept staring right at him, but he barely seemed to notice or care. I was trying to get the license # this time, but wasn't fast enough. Sorry I didn't. I feel as though I didn't try very hard for fear of a confrontation. Like the rest of my life.

Bleh. Well, time wasted on facts.

Comments

[orlys-wife.livejournal.com]

What can you say? Some guys are just jerks.

[afufle.livejournal.com]

Really! I was unnerved because last year someone actually clipped me in the crosswal, resulting in me not being able to carry out normal activities for several months. (That was also a black vehicle of the same shape--I forget what you call it, not a station wagon, but big & the same amount of room inside).

Some people honestly think that even though pedestrians have the walk light, they still have to yield to anyone who wants to turn in front of them. Duh.

The law allows drivers to turn right on a red light, as long as there is no one in the crosswalk on the street they are turning onto. But people think they can make a right turn on a red light and, "beware anyone who gets in my way!" Jerks.

Lol. I guess that's over with. I just kind of wish I could have done something more obviously right, like walk over to the car when he parked and get a bit hasty with him in telling him about how the law works. He'd have gotten a ticket if a policeman had seen what happened.

How you doing driving, or do you have your temps yet?

[orlys-wife.livejournal.com]

I've had my temps for about two weeks I think, and I'm doing okay. I haven't wrecked yet, so I guess that's good. My parents hardly ever let me drive because they say that I don't have enough experience. But how else am I supposed to get experience? lol. But driving with other people scares me a little because I'm afraid of other people being jerks on the roads. But I guess I need to get over that, huh?

[afufle.livejournal.com]

I used to be afraid of the people who'd give you the finger or whatever, that I'd get so mad I'd try to run them over, they'd jump out of the car. Then I'd get pounded and humiliated and have a maiming wreck on the way home. Or I'd ignore the person who slipped me the finger and

I finally figured out that was carrying around a lot of anger at various people, and not dealing with it. It showed up the moment I thought about driving. IT was a big reason why I never really wanted to drive--and I still don't. I did more or less learn, and could if there were an emergency.

I doubt you'll end up like that, and you're having normal anxiety (I think mine was practically psychotic!). You'll find a way to deal with it.

[orlys-wife.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I hope so! How do you get around without driving? I live in the middle of nowhere, so unless I want to take two hours to walk somewhere, I would have to drive. And how do you deal with your anger now, when you're not driving?

[afufle.livejournal.com]

Cincinnati is pretty big, and I really like to--and desperately need to--walk. I ride the bus, too. I don't have any kids or anything, so shopping for one isn't such a big deal. If I really need it, there is usually someone who can give me ride. I'll be moving soon to a new house, and I'm pretty sure I can get someone to take what furniture I've got.

I did some praying, finally. I was having trouble with finances and I heard a suggestion that anger and unforgiveness can be at the root of many problems, including financial problems.

It sounds pretty crass to get my head in order starting with money, but I think I thought before that the anger would go away by itself. I didn't know how much it was hurting me to hold it in. Getting rid of it wasn't always pleasant, but it's helped a lot. So has reading about forgiveness, and why it's better to forgive than hold it in, that forgiving means forgetting thoughts of vengeance and self-righteousness, but it doesn't mean forgetting your own or any other offenses. Not necessarily. If you or someone has made a moral mistake, it helps to keep you on your toes if you know there is still a possibility it can happen again. It's also nice to know what you have been forgiven for--it's a relief to let go of the negative thoughts around a memory.

Prayer, I'd say first, reading the Bible, and good books, maybe counseling. I went to an Alanon group, which helps family and friends of alcoholics to recover from the effects of alcoholism. It's been very helpful. The people in the group have all been where I was.