afufle | So then I said to her, I said...

This is weird, but I have had to "move back home" so to speak. I live in my mom's barn in the back yard, though she doesn't know it. I have greasy hair right now from not having access to a shower, haven't brushed my teeth in a day & a half. I think, can't quite remember. But I think I've figured out a way to handle that for the time being.

Yesterday, I was cleaning and packing up the stuff in my room in preparation to moving it out to the first floor of the barn, and she said, " You know, they're hiring now at Kroger."

I said, "mh-mh". And got out of there asap. I'd been hanging around a lot for the past few days, using her fridge to keep a little food in, using her stove to make coffee, and she I guess figured I was helpless. Or she was hinting for me to get out. Possibly the most likely explanation was that she wanted to get into my business and "help" me, because she enjoys thinking I can't do anything without her.

I actually had this moment where I thought god was telling me to get a job through my mom. That went away quickly since I've finally learned to think to myself, "don't respond now, you don't have to, it would probably be best not to anyway, she's just trying to get a rise out of you..." and sort of all of that and more in a feeling more than a thought. I suppose it's likely it's the best thing she thinks she can do for me (though historically she doesn't accept the answer 'I did my honest best' from me. Anyway, I was glad I didn't say a bloody thing, but m-m.

*Rolls eyes*. Final thought, I don't know what the blinking heck is going on in her head, but I'm as out of the house and off her back as I can be, costing her as little as I can, and I'm damn glad even though I'm not that attached to the barn. But I don't even have to sweep up there if I don't want to, since I know I won't invite anyone up there.

Sheesh. Problems with my mom have occupied so much of my thoughts for the last few decades that it's weird to think there isn't much to worry about there anymore.

[I'm going to answer some comments I hadn't gotten to since I hadn't updated for a while, though probably tomorrow. :] ]