ZCast? okay...

There was a bit of a thunderstorm this a.m. or I wouldn't be up this early,got up at 4:30 to shut windows. It was mostly coming straight down. I'm typing in notepad since I can't get on the web. Some window about updating ZoneCast came up--I clicked 'no' to an update. But the darn thing wouldn't takee no for an answer, wouldn't get off the screen. The system kept dialing, logging in, then dialing again. The NetZero home page never came up each time. Somehow I got it going again late last night, thought it'd be okay this morning, but no, same problem.

Sheesh. Then I burn not one but 2 batches of cinnamon biscuits. The smoke alarm goes off. LOUD, that thing is. As I was getting a chair so I could reach it, it went off. Good, because I didn't want to get any nearer that thing than I had too, it was unbearably loud.

Now the cat's on my lap. She's very affectionate, which is fine with me. Gets in the way occasionally, but that's life. Better that than no cat. Just about any time you're on the computer, she wants up on your lap. Cutie.

I let myself get dehydrated Wednesday. I was only drinking coffee, and I didn't drink water, which I know is not good. I trudged up one of the steepest hills in a hilly city, and was really shot when I got to the top, bought two smallish packets of cookies at a convenience store, when I'm sure I was more thirsty than hungry. I had to go to a therapy app't that day, and I'm sure I was putting that first before my own concerns, as though just worrying and showing up on time were going to help me more than staying healthy.

I felt just shot yesterday because of it, I think. Maybe because of going to Clint and Virginia's too. First time in a month. Left my sweathshirt there, too. Blankety-blank, & etc. I can't believe I did that. I guess I was thinking more about things out of order, things that don't really help, they just distract and worry. It feels kind of like panic, but not a full out panic attack.

Guess I'll try to get back to sleep now.

Back in action

I felt so rotten when I couldn't access the 'net, now I feel like a normal person again. That's awful my sense of well-being depends on outside events. Argh. Well, I skipped my meds today, so maybe that added to it, but this was before I had to take the stuff. So that wasn't it.

Linda came over with Henry and he mowed the lawn and she caught up with stuff. I guess I feel better when some one is around for a while.

Some person from ACORN came around looking for people to rally together to change the community, reopen the community centers, clean up litter, clear out the criminals, whatever. She wanted money, of which I have none. I felt bad afterward, like, again, I just won't get involved. But I was reluctant to promise anything when I don't even know what I'll have in the bank in November. They want to take out like 10 bucks a month in dues, which is fine I guess, but I honestly don't know where the groceries are coming from right now, couldn't see POA for only the second time this week at the cheap theaters. I've only seen one or two movies this year, and it sucks. Not much different than any other year, but I just don't have money for much.


I have some nice color bars of Orlando in my user info, by tarapandie. I really like them, obviously, and they are very well done for color bars. I suppose it's the thought that counts. Above is a mini of the first one. I just wanted to see what it would look like tiny, so I save the thumbnail from photobucket.

Well, nevermind I can't get the tiny version to show. That's the regular size. Odd.

Okay, there it is, tiny freedom fighter (blackhawkdown) love.

and just plain OB love.

Crack house

Back again, for another entry. Didn't do what it seemed most important to do, but maybe I'm so anxious about getting this one little thing done that it's just taking on too much importance.

Anyway, I found out from the kid who lived here till last month that the house next door is a crack house. They have a fairly pricey looking deck on the back of the house with a sauna, a gas grill, & nice cars, etc., yet they live in this rotten neighborhood and never call the police on this guy who is over there practically every day raging and acting like an insane bastard. So he's a cokehead/crack addict. Sheesh, anyway the pieces fell into place when Henry said that.

I didn't go see HPPOA again, as I rather wanted to. I don't have enough money, except I could just short myself on groceries or something. It's at the cheap theater now, so won't be more than 5 bucks, probably. Every time I say that, I don't do it though. So shit.

I am spending too much time in the house alone. Well, it's been so nice and peaceful, and nice to be able to walk around on the second floor with just a tee and underpants. I couldn't do that at Mom's with John around, or at Virginia's with Clint around. It's just so nice. I'm also relaxing so much I'm falling into some of the same old lazy ruts I've been in or had for so long. I ought to be happy and grateful. I guess I am, there are just moments.

It's weird, but I'm typing very fast right now, and it feels really good. I'm not going back and correcting anything, & it's just cool.

Off to see what I can get done around here, laundry, shower, whatever.