(no subject)
Jun. 25th, 2009 02:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
afufleIt's 91 degrees, humidity 89% or something like that, I just came in from a rain that started on my way to the library. Luckily I had an umbrella. but my jeans are wet from the knee down. I'm already a bit sleep deprived, I have no clue why, other than about 10,000 reasonable guesses. Probably a combination of stuff.
I have this journal, one at blogspot I'm starting to use to follow some of my local friends, one at a Christian site I've had for about as long as I've had this one. Maybe I should be even more confused than I feel. It's better to have a lot on your plate than practically nothing I guess, then you at least have a choice which you want to concentrate on.
There was a big proposed cut in the library funding, which would have closed half the libraries in the area, and cut hours for the remaining. The libraries had a big information campaign, so people would email or call state reps and the governor, who had proposed the cuts. People apparently flooded those people with emails and calls. No response from the governor about it yet, but the state reps said they all would like the libraries to stay open. I am glad, since of course I rely on the library for internet. If you are going to spend money on anything, I like education, safety (including fire and police and medical care), and libraries. Libraries are a big help to education, not to mention some relaxation and recreation. Is that everything, other than maybe public parks and scientific research?
Not necessarily in line with all that, but cutting to the heart of something that seems to be a big issue for me--discipline. I don't have it. I have trying to avoid doing bad and being around people who will be a good influence, or not be a bad one, but regular practice of anything avoids me.
I have been attending my 12-step (mostly Al-Anon) meetings more and more, and actually going to church regularly after mostly very spotty attendance based on going when I felt like it. And I'm doing my best to get involved without overloading myself at church. I really overdid it in Al-Anon, let other people make choices for me in the last couple years. I really wasn't ready to be literature chairman or chair the special events committee. I don't really have a regular source of income, so half the time I really don't have a dollar. I just guess I had nothing to do, and the vaccuum outvoted my ability to say no.
My counseling took a kind of scary turn when the couple counseling me got kicked out of church. They apparently believe that angels can work inside us, and though that sounds pretty weird, they are some of the most dedicated hard-working people I've ever met, without whining or martyrdom, they seem really happy to do what they do, and they help a lot of people, without charge. But the pastor disagrees, thinks this point of view can lead to working with false angels. Well, I guess it could, especially if you don't know what you're doing. I think everything's risky when you consider there are spiritual beings out there, and you are dealing with what you can't see.
I can't wrap my head around this one. The pastor thinks they are trying to lure people away from the church to their ministry, which included a once-a-month healing service at the church. Which sounds rather paranoid. This pastor is really good, but I guess he had to take a stand. The wife of the couple, who I know from grade school and high school, my parents used to be friends with theirs, said that's what it boiled down to.
I plan to keep going, am strongly thinking of being baptized, yet...this is just weird. Will I go through all this and then be edged out when they find out I am still going to counseling with these people? Weird that inside me I just feel like, keep going to both, no problem. Well, I don't know any plan that is necessarily better, this is pretty simple. I don't know what to think, just hope for the best.
I have this journal, one at blogspot I'm starting to use to follow some of my local friends, one at a Christian site I've had for about as long as I've had this one. Maybe I should be even more confused than I feel. It's better to have a lot on your plate than practically nothing I guess, then you at least have a choice which you want to concentrate on.
There was a big proposed cut in the library funding, which would have closed half the libraries in the area, and cut hours for the remaining. The libraries had a big information campaign, so people would email or call state reps and the governor, who had proposed the cuts. People apparently flooded those people with emails and calls. No response from the governor about it yet, but the state reps said they all would like the libraries to stay open. I am glad, since of course I rely on the library for internet. If you are going to spend money on anything, I like education, safety (including fire and police and medical care), and libraries. Libraries are a big help to education, not to mention some relaxation and recreation. Is that everything, other than maybe public parks and scientific research?
Not necessarily in line with all that, but cutting to the heart of something that seems to be a big issue for me--discipline. I don't have it. I have trying to avoid doing bad and being around people who will be a good influence, or not be a bad one, but regular practice of anything avoids me.
I have been attending my 12-step (mostly Al-Anon) meetings more and more, and actually going to church regularly after mostly very spotty attendance based on going when I felt like it. And I'm doing my best to get involved without overloading myself at church. I really overdid it in Al-Anon, let other people make choices for me in the last couple years. I really wasn't ready to be literature chairman or chair the special events committee. I don't really have a regular source of income, so half the time I really don't have a dollar. I just guess I had nothing to do, and the vaccuum outvoted my ability to say no.
My counseling took a kind of scary turn when the couple counseling me got kicked out of church. They apparently believe that angels can work inside us, and though that sounds pretty weird, they are some of the most dedicated hard-working people I've ever met, without whining or martyrdom, they seem really happy to do what they do, and they help a lot of people, without charge. But the pastor disagrees, thinks this point of view can lead to working with false angels. Well, I guess it could, especially if you don't know what you're doing. I think everything's risky when you consider there are spiritual beings out there, and you are dealing with what you can't see.
I can't wrap my head around this one. The pastor thinks they are trying to lure people away from the church to their ministry, which included a once-a-month healing service at the church. Which sounds rather paranoid. This pastor is really good, but I guess he had to take a stand. The wife of the couple, who I know from grade school and high school, my parents used to be friends with theirs, said that's what it boiled down to.
I plan to keep going, am strongly thinking of being baptized, yet...this is just weird. Will I go through all this and then be edged out when they find out I am still going to counseling with these people? Weird that inside me I just feel like, keep going to both, no problem. Well, I don't know any plan that is necessarily better, this is pretty simple. I don't know what to think, just hope for the best.
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-26 11:47 am (UTC)These cuts that Strickland is trying to do is very unnecessary. I think they need to go into the inner budget and see where they can cut the waste out of there. Seniors, library, kids? Come On!
Keep your spirits up!!
no subject
Date: 2009-06-26 07:43 pm (UTC)It does look like Hamilton County is okay for one more year now, I hope it helps us all in the long run.